Who You Surround Yourself With Matters: The Leadership Impact of Your Inner Circle

Written by: Brett Lyndon – The Pro Forum Community of Practice

There is a well-known quote by author and speaker Jim Rohn: “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” While not a hard scientific rule, the idea captures a powerful truth, the people around us shape how we think, what we prioritise, and how we lead.

This concept is often applied to personal growth, but it holds equally true in the workplace. As leaders, the mindsets, standards, and behaviours of those we interact with most consistently influence our own. The question is: are those influences helping you grow, or holding you back?

Leadership is Social

Leadership is not a solo pursuit. Even the most senior executives are impacted by the perspectives and energy of their peers, direct reports, and networks. The people closest to us — those we bounce ideas off, turn to in moments of uncertainty, or quietly observe — become mirrors and multipliers of our thinking.

That influence works both ways. You shape your team, and your team shapes you. Over time, we begin to adopt shared language, assumptions, and behaviours. Sometimes that creates alignment and strength. Other times, it creates blind spots or groupthink.

Being intentional about who is in your professional circle is not about exclusivity. It is about surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to stay sharp, curious, and growth-focused.

The Hidden Influence of Your Five

Consider your current “five” colleagues, mentors, friends, or peers you interact with most in your work life. Ask yourself:

Do they challenge me or always agree with me?
Are they solutions-focused or problem-focused?
Do they bring energy and ideas, or drain attention and time?
Do they encourage growth, or reinforce comfort?

This is not about cutting people off. It is about noticing which relationships elevate your leadership and which ones may be reinforcing unhelpful habits or perspectives.

In high-performing environments, leaders often find that their growth accelerates when they are surrounded by people who:

Think differently
Push them respectfully
Value learning and reflection
Demonstrate strong self-awareness

This kind of diversity in mindset and capability creates a natural lift in performance, not through pressure, but through proximity.

Building an Intentional Circle

You do not have to change your five overnight. But you can start to be more intentional about the voices and influences you prioritise. Here’s how:

Seek diversity of thought. Spend time with people who approach problems differently to you. It expands your options and sharpens your thinking.

Find truth-tellers. Include people who are willing to challenge you constructively, not just reinforce your opinions.

Create mutual growth relationships. Choose to invest in relationships where you can support and stretch each other.

Limit time with negative influences. Be mindful of those who consistently pull focus away from solutions, growth, or responsibility.

Model this for your team. Encourage your direct reports to build their own strong circles of influence.

Culture Starts with Connection

This principle applies beyond individual development. If you want a team or organisation that performs at a high level, take a look at the connections within it. Who spends time with whom? What kinds of conversations dominate? What shared assumptions are going unchallenged?

Culture is often built around informal circles of influence. As a leader, shaping these networks intentionally can drive real cultural change, not just through policy or structure, but through relationships.

And just as positive influence can lift a team, negative influence can do the opposite. The saying “one bad apple can spoil the bunch” is not just folklore. In professional environments, even one consistently negative person can quietly reduce team morale, slow progress, and increase tension. Their impact may not be obvious at first, but over time it shows up in disengagement, avoidance, or a drop in team standards.

Part of a leader’s role is to notice these patterns early and respond in a way that protects the performance and wellbeing of the whole team, not by placing blame, but by reinforcing what the team stands for.

You don’t need to be the smartest person in the room. In fact, some would say that if you are, it might be time to find a different room. Surround yourself with people who challenge your thinking, sharpen your leadership, and encourage you to act with greater clarity and courage.

The people closest to you will either stretch your leadership or slowly shrink it.

So take stock. Look around. And ask yourself:
Who are you becoming more like? Is that who you want to be?

At Pro Leaders Academy, we help leaders and teams sharpen their performance by building strong, intentional circles of influence. Whether through workshops, coaching, or team development programs, we support organisations to create cultures where the right connections drive results.
Discover how PLA can help you and your team build the circles that stretch, challenge, and inspire.